Sorry for the Trouble

[ranma1/2]

It's a short story. I dont expect much replies byut any would be apprreciated


Sorry for the trouble
By:Andrew G. Pringle


I look at the bustle of the people around me. People moving from left to right, so much on their minds, just like me I guess. This world truly is an amazing place. I've never wanted to get in people's way. Just was never in me. Heck if I dated I would be to scared i would cause trouble for her. I have been like this ever since grade school. Always picked on, walked over, cheated, all sorts of things. All becuase I just wanted to make everyone's life easier. I don't like to fight either. I guess I really am a spineless coward. But as long as everyone else is happy I am content. So here I was walking through the street, looking at the people go by. All these people having good times and meaningfull lives. Like Im not even needed. Not like I ever am needed. Why that thought crossed my mind I do not know. I've always been un-important. Like part of a wall. Not neccesarry but good to be around. Sorta like that. That's how i cand escribe it at least. I've never regretted my life. I am content with other people's happiness. Like I said I dont want to be any trouble to anyone. I put my hands in my pockets and trudge along the road. Alot of people were out tonight. Guys with their girls, freinds, family, everyone seemed to be having a good time. I wish I could do that sometimes. But I guess it was my lot in life to be alone. I was content in that at least. I had accepted my fate and i had no worries upon me. I guess it was true nice guys always finish last. I remember those stories well. Hey your a nice guy, don't know why you can't find a girl. Or the one about your great. Man I would love to be your freind. Just stories after all I guess. I chuckle soflty as I continue my lonely walk. I've done it so many times before anyway. I have taken a joy into star-gazing as of late. The endless sea of light as it carresses the sky. My own life dwindles in it's great presence. I, after all, was only a blip in the exsitince of life anyway. Nothing too special about me. So I trudge along when this kid with a knife comes up to me. He waves it around, slashing the air, telling me to give up my wallet. I sigh and give it to him. After all, no trouble right? The kid runs off and I smile. No trouble happened. I guess I have always been like this. I continue moving down the strip. I don't remeber the road ever being this long before. I come up to another gruop of youngsters. It looked like they were high on something. I just walked past them. One grabbed me by the arm asking me for a toll. I told him I had nothing. He looked at me angrily and said I would pay with blood. No one crosses their turf. He takes a knife and rams it into my gut, my blood spilling on his shirt. I shudder but still keep my smile apologizing for getting blood on his shirt. He asks what kinda sick mother I was. I just smile and shudder again. he say's screw it and slits my throat. With my last breath I say my last and final words. Sorry for the trouble.

[`Lu]

o.0 that was kinda............dark, and a little crazy. Good story tho. Really wasn't expecting that ending

^_^

ja

[Kabobward]

There were too many grammar mistakes to even count. I thought the end felt rushed, and could have used a little more description of what was happening. They aren't just going to cut someone for walking around them. They'd have at least hassled him first. It wasn't bad, and you did a good job of getting your point across overall.

[WildStar]

I would of broken this up into 3 paragraphs and maybe add a but more. It was fine in its length but it could of used a bit more in descriptions. Nothing was said about the city he lived in and the little things.

Very dark and somewhat strange for someone to accept that way oflife without fighting for something. Certainly being lonely would have an affect but it most likely wouldnt make the person a push over when things get heavy. But then again, were all different.

[`Lu]

paragraphs would have been good, but i disagree about more detail on the surroundings. The story shows how this person perceives things, and he might not have been paying attention to the surroundings. his focus was more on not causing trouble to others, and sorta trying to blend with the background. I think the idea behind the story came through very well, and the detail focused on that idea. yet again, good story ranma ^^

[Ian the Korean]

The message and story itself were good. yeah, grammar mistakes were nasty and paragraphs would have helped, but despite that it was good. Do agree some more descriptions and a less rushed ending may have been better, though.