Shannon Apple

How's this for cheesy creeperness in the pub the other day. I'll have to paraphrase here, but the conversation went on longer. The guy was way too old for me anyway, and looked pretty weird, so I told him I was taken. Ugh!


"Hey babe how's it going? Fancy a drink?"
"No I'm fine, but thank you."
"Yes you are fine."
*leans against the wall and being all creepy*
"What are you doing out here all on your own looking miserable?"
"Oh I'm quite happy thanks, my friend's just popped to the loo."
"May I sit here." and winks.
"My friend will be back any minute."
(of course he knew that, he had to see her leave.)
"Oh I see, you're on table minding duty. All the better for me.... Soooo, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"Excuse me?"
"Did it hurt, I mean you're looking like an angel."
"Nah, but I lost a few nails when I was climbing out of hell..."
"Oh? Is that so? You're a naughty one."
(I was like, oh ****, that didn't work this time.)
"I was just kidding... my boyfriend was right there to catch me."
"Hmmm, I have a pile of dvds at home"
"huh?"
"Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about **** that didn't matter."
"I wasn't, you were. I thought we were discussing significant things. Oh there's my friend, now if you'll excuse me. Thanks for the chat."
"Does your friend have a boyfriend."
"Actually, she's married. Cya."
(He goes to harass my friend and she flashed her wedding ring at him and told him to annoy someone else more his own age and single. She's not as nice as me. lol)

GAH!

Lads, don't search the internet for stupid pick up lines. Seriously, it makes you look ****ing retarded. The fallen angel one I have heard at least a dozen times now. You might end up like that dude, rejected a million times and still looking for women half his age.