Chicaиαry

Awesome times in chatbox the other night. It's been found that I don't believe in peer pressure.

Chicanary: I don't believe in peer pressure
KT Samurai: How can you not believe in peer pressure.
Chicanary: I've never been in a situation where I had to make a choice and couldn't think for myself.
KT Samurai: ignorance is bliss.
Chicanary: is everyone who disagrees with you ignorant or just me.
KT Samurai: you're a special person.

Put it that way I guess KT was right on both accounts. I've never experienced peer pressure on any level save from what Elders of my then religious sect who promoted regarding our Faith's morals. (Not sure if that counts as "peer pressure.") If I've never experienced peer pressure, ignorance is bliss. I've always been free to do what I want based on my ability to think, as opposed to simply acting on what someone else said/did.

So I did some reading on peer pressure. Much of it surrounded teenagers and focused on negative peer pressure as opposed to positive peer pressure. Here's my understanding of it (the negative and the positive). If you believe in it, then the times it has led to less than stellar events (negative peer pressure), people chalk it up to someone not knowing any better OR not knowing negative outcomes were possible. The most common examples of negative peer pressure refer to sex, drugs, and academia.


"Mom I'm pregnant."
"What the ****? HOW? WHEN?"
"I don't know."
You had sex"
"But Janie had sex and this didn't happen to her."


I come from a single parent family. I was 9 when Mom gave me an in depth sex talk with pictures of what STDs looked like. She didn't pressure me to not hve sex. She gave me one very good reason to not have sex, the second being a video on pregnancy and child birth. I was 9 so I wasn't sexually active anyway. But when I had the urge for sex and later acted on it, I made sure to take every precaution to prevent STDs and pregnancy. My allowance was about 20USD/week, unit price of condoms was less than 2USD, and the cost of being pregnant was more money than I ever had to my name at that time.

Janie could talk about how amazing sex was all she wanted. I already made my decision. So forgive me if I think someone can honestly say "I was pressured into sex" and possibly unsafe sex. That's the equivalent to saying I know everything about xyz because I did a google search and wikipedia said this.

On another side of that cube, it's possible someone can feel pressured into sex by their partner. If you think you're ready for sex then go for it if that's what you want. But does that mean you should have unprotected sex because a) condoms are uncomfortable, b) you think you know your boyfriend is faithful 3) you don't think it'll happen to you? If you have access to the internet, you should also have access to condom manufacturer's websites regarding the kinds of condoms available and consumer reviews regarding comfort/technical issues (like break rate). And quite frankly if a guy can't make sex feel good with a condom odds are he's not that very good at all. (personal opinion.) As for blindly trusting your partner... people are imperfect and do lie. Get tested and especially if you're sleeping around make sure you definitely wear a condom because STIs are just as bad as STDs. As for not thinking it could happen to you... that's called egocentricity. The belief that you are special and certain rules don't apply to you.

Looking at peer pressure regarding drugs it seems to be more involved. It's possible to see someone using drug related items and act on visual cues. "Janie is so cool and she smokes." If Janie looked cool jumping off a bridge would you do that too? And I can see that sometimes the effects of drug usage are not as immediate as breaking every bone in your body and dying from falling from a bridge. But there is a reason why if you are underaged (and not legally able to make certain decisions for yourself) you can't purchase those products without ID or at a licensed to sell establishment. regarding items that not sold at stores like marijuana, ecstasy, and other illegal substances... what the **** are we seven? If you buy something and find the seal is broken or otherwise tampered with do you still put it in your mouth? No. You get a refund. Similarly pills/other drug paraphernalia. I don't understand why anyone would consume something from what looks like a prescription if it wasn't intended for them.

"But Janie snorted the white stuff and she's thin and looks healthy." I'm annoyed by advertising in the US. For the longest I felt too much of fashion centered around what the ideal American woman should look like. White, straight haired, skinny, and curveless. I have no idea who the target audience is for media where this stereotype is prevalent but a bulk of it is made of those who're either uncomfortable in their skin or dissatisfied with some aspect of their life. There is absolutely no reason why anyone reading Cosmo (usually women) should believe another woman (with a fairytale-esque profession) on the 125 things to do please your man. At most that list is 15 items long. And there's really no reason why anyone should believe that only a particular fashion/style will make them feel pretty. As often as fashion changes, and how often you'd' need to change your wardrobe to keep up, if you still feel ugly, it's time for a reality check. At most, acne cream/anti aging cream, maybe some scented body lotion, a balanced diet, the odd accessory here or there, and lip gloss is all you need.

Then there was peer pressure on things like cutting school, cheating in school, and/or dropping out completely. That's not peer pressure. That's somenone with a negligent parent. I cut school plenty of times. I wasn't pressured to do it. Some mornings I woke up and I just didn't feel like going. I chose to forge my mom's signature on a note and stay home or do whatever else tickled my fancy (usually go to the arcade). But I was responsible about it. I never cut on a test day or when a major assignment was due cause that just looks suspicious. Mom never found out, I didn't die, all was well. Cheating is a separate issue because if you get caught normally a parent is notified. At the college level, any form of academic dishonesty is sometimes punished harsher than rape which in some cases, the culprit is only required to avoid the victim while he continues his education. Get caught cheating and it's grounds for an automatic expulsion that follows you for the rest of your life. Completely dropping out of school... if you drop out of high school/elementary you're pretty much ****ed and child protective services will be all up your ass and your parent's. Drop out of college/uni and you're wallet is ****ed. "But Janie didn't go to school and she does fine." Unless Janie dropped out to be a financially well off guy's sugar baby and has a friend of equal financial standing willing to give you the same deal Janie has, I do not see how this is ever a good idea. Again, lack of information pertaining to Janie's situation. I know plenty of people who dropped out of elementary/high school. Normally it's because they became a parent, had to take care of a very ill family member, or needed the extra income because they already became a parent and needed more money. I suppose Janie would look skinny.


I talked to ThisGuy earlier today in chat. Apparently steroid usage among high school athletes is not a good example of peer pressure because "it isn't treated as such" or because it is the only option necessary to maintain equal footing in sports if you know others are using. I don't believe in peer pressure so I don't particularly care... but I find it interesting that even among those who do believe in peer pressure, there are times where it isn't a valid excuse. So that begs the question: as a believer in peer pressure, when the hell is it a good idea to use peer pressure as a valid excuse for something you did?


And on that note, most examples of positive peer pressure were centered around doing things that are positive for yourself (go figure). Like not using drugs despite advertisements because your friend told you it was bad for you. (Currently tobacco products are no longer endorsed by doctors and come with a Surgeon General's warning so despite advertisements you know it's a hazard.) Again, I've never been in the position of making important decisions on the say so of one person.

So yeah. I don't believe in peer pressure. I believe in individuality and making decisions based on sound info. I never believed in doing something so I could be like someone else. I also never felt so infatuated with someone to the point I had to change myself to be liked/accepted.


/end rant.