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♥Kaoru's Blog♥

My story idea♥

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11 Comments
by
Kaoru Asuna
, 06-21-14 at 05:35 PM (260 Views)
  
Hey, I just got this (very basic) idea together for a story I'm planning on writing, and I'd be curious to know what you guys think. Please comment if you have any ideas♥
Here it is:


Okay. My new idea is about this man named Sanosuke Yoshihiro (he has an 11 year old son named Kirito and a wife, named Asuna). This man starts feeling sick, and when he goes to the doctor, they have some tests done, and they come back saying he has a desease called Slow Virus (I'm going to find the real name if this desease, and this desease might not be the one I use when I actually write the story--I'm still just getting the plot together a bit more before I start writing it♥). The doctor tells him the desease will kill him, but it's to unpredictable to calculate when.
Mr. Yoshihiro decides to leave his family, thinking (insanely) that it would be better for him to leave them than for them to watch him die.
He leaves one day after work, having packed a suitcase secretly the night before and putting it in the trunk of his car. He doesn't tell his family, knowing they would try to stop him from leaving.
And he's gone (I've decided I'll write this part later in the story).

(This is kind of out of order, but the story will start with Kirito and his best friend Julia 'Jules' Hamill).
17 years after his father left, while searching through his mother's attic (he has his own apartment, in the fictional town, which I will create and name later), Kirito will find his father's journal. While reading it with his friend Jules, he finds that his father had been sick a few weeks before he left (I having made that he recorded this, not tyhinking anyone would read it after he left). The last entry is the one saying he's leaving. This entry, along with the ones saying he was sick, kickstart Kirito to finally go out into the world and try to find his father, his best friend Jules saying, that no matter what, she's coming with him. (I'm not really sure what will happen after they leave. I just know they will do a lot of traveling all over America looking for his father. And it will be a semi-happy ending. Semi, because they will find him, but he will die a while after getting back. Maybe a few months after, is what I'm thinking). There's also going to be a romantic aspect, I just have to figure out how to fit it into the story.

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Comments

  1. sinless's Avatar
    I believe at least some development to show how close the child and father are would help make it more believable that he would drop everything and chase after his father(Who may be dead).
  2. Furie's Avatar
    I like the idea, but not the names (unless you specifically say the father was a fan of the anime SAO or something. Even then, if you choose to publish this, you might have to contact the company for the rights to the names, I'm not really sure)

    Other than those two names, I like the idea. If you write it, let me know. I'd very much like to read it.
  3. Kuze the Devil's Avatar
    Nice story idea, in my opinion. The characters could do with more simpler names. The aspect of romance (between Kirito and Julia I assume) could be given emphasis during their travels when the pair face hardships and overcome those hardships together.
  4. Kaoru Asuna's Avatar
    @sinless: If you've got any ideas how to portray this, please lay them on me.

    @Furie: I like the names, and (although I don't think it will ever be published) I don't think using those names would be a problem, because I'm not using the last names and my characters are not based on their characters or their personalities.

    @Kuze: Good idea (that's kind of what I was thinking). I just need to figure out some hardships for them to suffer through.

    And I just want to note that Julia was over at Kirito's house the day his father didn't come home from work, so they really bonded over that that day, and they've been best friends since that day (althoughh they had been friends since Jules was born--she's 2 years younger, 26 to his 28--because they have lived nextdoor to each other their entire lives and their parents are friends).

    And now that I think about it, I might make them younger, have less time in between the day Mr. Yoshihiro leaves and when Kirito desides to try and find him. Maybe make Kirito and Jules be 22 and 20 or something. Got any comments on any of these comments anyone?
  5. sinless's Avatar
    Hmm, maybe make it so Kirito really stayed close to his father and played with him a majority of the time. Julia was a friend, but liked Kirito even though he often ignored her to play with his father. When his father disappears she becomes the one who supports him through it and can lead to mutual love.
  6. Furie's Avatar
    @Kaoru, I think either age is fine. I like younger because then maybe Kirito's dad can return home in time to see him graduate college (if he went to college)

    If he's older, maybe dad can make it home in time to watch Kirito get married (if you decide he's getting married) or Kirito&wife having their first child (if you decide he should have a child)

    I'm not sure if adding Kirito's big life events will throw off your story. T'was only ideas.
  7. Kaoru Asuna's Avatar
    @sinless: Now that I've thought about it, I don't think I need to tell a reason for Kirito to go find his father. If your father disappeared, wouldn't you go look for him, if you weren't mad at him for leaving?

    @Furie: I've decided I really like the younger ages (probably in part, because they're closer to my currant age. I had them older for a reason thast is no longer relevant).
    And I like that Mr. Yoshihiro could see his son graduate college, but if he's in college, how does he have the time to go out and look for his father?

    As to the marrage/and or/child, I wasn't planning on taking the story that far. And he would be marrying Julia (which is the romantic aspect I mentioned. Kirito will profess his long-hidden love for her, and such), but that would take place after the story ends.
  8. sinless's Avatar
    I think that's fine then and I also prefer the younger age.
  9. Kaoru Asuna's Avatar
    ​Great♥ ^•^
  10. STORM♥'s Avatar
    I like the idea of this, I'll be keen on reading the full story and reading the updates.
  11. Kaoru Asuna's Avatar
    ​Great, thanks♥ I think I'll post the story in parts of chapters, in both my blog and in the Writer's Block section. But I'll have to finish enough to post first♥